please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
