I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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