Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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