fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
