He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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