sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
