i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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