This is not my ceiling
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
