So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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