I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
