So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
