Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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