The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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