I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
