he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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