I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just blew my weed a kiss
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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