dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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