Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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