I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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