I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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