i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
