I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize