How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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