She said her name was "party"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
