Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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