i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
