so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
