I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
