apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
