My friends, they love my intelligence
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
