I wanna bring you to show and tell
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
