Can Purell be used as lube?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
