I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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