tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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