i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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