He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
