By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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