Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
