I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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