I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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