I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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