walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
