you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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