In the future we'll all be gay
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
