I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
