GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize