I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
