make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
