I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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