We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Congratulations! We have a period
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