Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
