just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
