Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
