what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize