Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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