I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
