Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
