Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
