Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
