just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
