Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
