i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
