fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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