We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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