dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
