even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize