some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
