what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
