The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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