Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize