i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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