I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
