Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
