she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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