some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
