yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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