New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
