standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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