I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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