My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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