Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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