have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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