; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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